i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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