I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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