This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
