Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
