Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
