is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
