I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
