i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
did i just pee glitter
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
