Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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