Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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