i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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