was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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