Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will be naked everywhere
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
