if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
