If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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