So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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