there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
