I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
