It's Friday. Sex?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
