I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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