I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
