Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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