imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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