Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
