it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
