Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Come share oat with me in your robe
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The adults are the big ones right?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
