her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
