it wasn't lemon gatorade
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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