Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
