Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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