YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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