Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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