How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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