if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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