Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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