Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
