Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
