I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
