you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
