used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
