lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
