Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
