this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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