Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
