I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
