today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize