So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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