Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
