that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Text me some of your sweat
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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