i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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