He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Two words: blizzard sex
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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