we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
