this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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